Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
Dumbledore: 30 points go to Griffindor for Harry's breathing techniques
Period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
Period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
Period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
Period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
Period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
Period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
Period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
Period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
Period: Yell at a puppy.
dammit-barton: flylikeabowtie: sweetmotherofhandgrenades: yumatsukomo: twinkle twinkle little star why is art so fuCKING HARD #up above the world so high#i cant draw the OTHER EYE twinkle twinkle little FUCK dammit what the- I give up. This is my anthem
patrick-arthur-urie: dirtylittledamsel: I Should’ve Saved That Gif When I Had The Chance Because Now I Can’t Find It: The Musical Put that thing back on my dashboard or so help me
Punishment for rape in Ancient Rome: Rapist's gonads were crushed between two stones.
Punishment for rape in America in 2013: 1-2 years of jail and victim-blaming, rapist-sympathetic media coverage.
Me: Can we re-adopt the Roman method?
World's Deepest Swimming Pool
nerdycouture: 3492th-pie: IT’S THE WATER TEMPLE. WELP, TIME TO PUT ON MY WATER TUNIC AND METAL BOOTS